Tuesday, August 08, 2006

She Was Made a Target By Being Born With a Vagina


Or in other words, a first day of school adventure. :)


Lunch is quite the time for drama. You see it all the time in those cheesy teen soap operas. Today was no exception in Feminazi By Night land, and I had to become the Feminazi by Night during school hours! It's like Clark Kent turning into Superman right in the middle of the newsroom! It's crazy talk!

It's also not important. What's important is the issue that made me go into Feminazi mode.

I believe very strongly that the strongest indicatorsw of patriarchy can be seen in the way society acts toward the abortion issue and the rape issue, especially when the two are meshed. However, I'm going to take on one of the two in this post. Your good old fashioned victim blaming! Yaaaaay!

You've all heard it before. "She was wearing a short skirt", "She was drunk", "She was hanging all over him".

So, I had a lovely screaming match with a fellow student today. That was the inspiration for my post title, as it was the last thing I screamed at said student. Once again, names are being changed to protect the not-so-innocent (speaking of which, *puke* I saw Bob today). Today's unsuspecting victim (or maybe not? After all, the argument is "personal responsibility" isn't it?) will be called George.

And George, if you're reading this, I urge you to comment. That way I can't scream over you like you said I did today when I pwned you. :)

Anyway, to get down to it, George brought out the age old many times disproved dehumanizing misogynistic argument of "personal responsibility" for women to stop rape. What George doesn't know, however, is that rape is a male problem. Men rape, so men need to stop. For a better example that someone like George can understand, burglars steal, so they need to stop. Anyone that they steal from is a victim. It doesn't matter if they had their door wide open. The burglar STILL has no right to steal from them.

It is not the victim's job to stop the crime from happening, because such a feat is impossible. A person walking home from the bus stop does not have any responsiblity to stop someone from mugging them. By the same token, a woman does not have to wear a burka to stop men from raping her. That is not a society in which women are free, and a society in which women are not free is a sexist society indeed. Anyone who can't see that needs to get their head out of their (I hope cleanly shaven in case of ass-rape) sphincter. Women have a right to feel safe just like any human person, just like any citizen. Men feel safe in this society. There is no reason why women should have to cater to male whim or incorrect myths about why rape occurs for them to feel safe, too.

26 comments:

Steve said...

Agreed.

Yeah, I read your blog.

Drew said...

To be fair (and equal), don't women rape as well?

Megan said...

Drew:

Men make up 90% of rapists. I'm not sure what you're getting at here. Do you alter what you wear because you might get raped because of it? Or, more to the point, blamed for your own rape because of it? :/

Megan said...

I know you read my blog, Steven. I just want you to admit in public that you read a feminazi blog. :P

Emily said...

Brilliant pwnage! I think you'll be thrilled to know that researchers are developing a special kind of paper that can detect roofies in drinks. The kit is small enough to fit in your pocket! The research team is asking for a grant to expand their research to create paper that can also detect other types of illicit drugs used in date rape. I know society should be beyond blaming women who drink socially for their own rapes and assaults, but until society catches up with reason, science has to be the rational sector of humanity. Gee, maybe that's why fundies hate science so much!

Even though this is the first time I'm commenting, I do check your blog almost daily and read your new postings. Something I think both of us bring up in our blogs frequently is victim-blaming. I read the very long conversation you and a couple of young men had in your post about women who wear short skirts should get Brazilian waxes before partying. It seems that even the most humanistic guys can't get around why we are so pissed about this issue that's apparently so common-sense to them: If you get raped, you must not have protected yourself. I call these guys "The (Infamous) 1 in 9," which makes up the number of college men who admit they would commit rape if they knew they'd get away with it. These guys desperately hold onto the personal responsibilty victim-blaming tactic in order to use it against their victim(s) in future, you know, just in case they do get caught.

Drew said...

"What George doesn't know, however, is that rape is a male problem. Men rape, so men need to stop."

All I'm saying is that though it's generally true, that it can go both ways. Out of curiosity, how accurate is that statistic? I'd imagine that it's hard to measure and that, if I remember correctly, men are less likely to admit being raped or sexually assaulted.

Megan said...

I imagine it's pretty accurate. I think it was taken from RAINN, but I could be wrong on that one. I know the statistic by heart, but not so much the source. o.O I'm sure you can look it up.

The fact of the matter is: We live in a rape culture, and while it does excuse the rape of young men quite often, the fact of the matter is, the majority of rapes will not stop until MEN STOP RAPING PEOPLE. The majority of rapists are men. The end. It doesn't matter what the statistic is. Therefore, if you want to stop the majority of rapes, stop those men.

Steve said...

Absolutely Meg.

One thing though, I get infuriated when I hear about things like some female college students putting up flyers around their campus with pictures of completely random and arbitrary men on them with a caption that reads "THESE MEN ARE POTENTIAL RAPISTS".

I would never rape anyone. Ever. Ever. If a guy that looks exactly like me rapes someone, shoot them in the head, it's not me.

Also, the 1/9 statistic doesn't really surprise me. I'm sure there are similar statistics for many crimes, like murder.

Drew said...

My issue is that rape against men is so often ignored because of sexism. Society assumes that all men are overly eager to have sex and ignores that fact that a man might not consent.

And I think you know rape, like most crimes, will always occur.

Megan said...

Steven:

I totally get where you're coming from. But you have to understand something. Women need to know that 1 in 9 college guys said they would rape someone if given the opportunity. So, while I'm not a believer in the personal responsiblity argument, I am a believer in arming women as best we can until we can overcome our love of rape culture. That may not be the best way to put it, but I can't disagree with the sentiment. Too many women think that rapists are creepy guys who grab you when you're going out to your car or when you're leaving work. That's simply not the case. The majority of rapes are committed by a boyfriend, husband, aqcuaintance, or friend. If it require Joe Normal to be given a bit of a negative light, well, maybe that's not so bad. I understand that you don't want to be put in that category, but the fact of the matter is that while you may not be the type to think you're entitled to women, many guys like you are. Women need to be aware of that. I do agree, however, that that's not the best way to go about informing people.

Megan said...

Drew:

Your last sentence was basically pointless. What does that have to do with anything? Murder will always occur. Does that mean that people shouldn't speak out against victim-blamers and point out who commits the majority of said crime and make them stop? To me, it seems like you're pulling the "It happens to men, too, so you shouldn't focus on women" card, and that's never a good card to pull.

Drew said...

I was referencing this: "The majority of rapes will not stop until MEN STOP RAPING PEOPLE." Of course we should speak out against victim-blamers and fight rape; it'd be irresponsible not to. We should always aim for perfection, but we should never expect to achieve it.

Steve said...

Not the BEST way? It's absolutely wrong! Should we be stigmatized as villains because we're guys? Most people who are murdered are murdered by people they know, too. Maybe we should put up flyers that say "These people are potential murderers"; based on the fact that they fit the lifestyle, age group, or even worse, more likely GENDER for that kind of thing. I would fucking sue, if these overzealous women did that to me, and I hate people who sue. There's just no way I can get behind that.

Megan said...

I'm not saying it's right. I'm saying I understand it. When you're a female college student going to classes where 1 out of every 9 guys would rape you if they got the chance, you might understand. However, I think the flyers come from a place of internal struggle with the two opposing ideas of "Help them protect themselves" and "Focus on the perps", if you knpw what I mean. The deformed lovechild those two opposing ideals creates is a bitter group of women who hate men because they rape. The aqnger is misdirected. It's not individual men so much as patriarchy that allows it to continue. So, what I would propose is having a poster that has a generic outline of a person (probably male, you may be offended but guess what? 90% of rapists are men) that says that they could be a potential rapist if you have to go along that theme. However, an actual picture would get too cloudy first with gender issues and then with issues of race and class. So it's not a smart move anyway. I just understand where the kind of resentment and confusion that creates those kinds of attitudes and images come from. It's frustrating to be so powerless and to have people telling you every day that there's not patriarchy, and then you read a story about three guys getting 6 years in prison for shoving a snapple bottle into the vagina of a passed-out girl. You can't imagine how much anger that can give a fellow vagina owner.

Steve said...

Hey, I could go with that outline thingy, individual pictures was my problem.

I'm not convinced by your 100% juice/rape scenario though. Stupid people do stupid things, I read articles all the time about some rednecks trying to fuck a sheep or dismembering their friends assholes with something that was not supposed to go inside the human body.

Megan said...

Wait. . .what?

Steve said...

The fact that they raped her with a snapple bottle seems no different to me than when three equally stupid guys rape, say, another guy, or an animal. The truth is that those guys are retarded, and I don't think that it's a reflection on our society being "patriarchal".

Megan said...

Steven Steven Steven. . .*tsk tsk*

All you know is that she was raped with a snapple bottle. Do you know the other details,? The "Boys will be boys" attitude displayed throughout the whole trial, where the victim was on trial more than the perpetrators? Where her past sexual history was aired out so the defense could claim that she was "feigning being passed out", "loving it", and "practicing to be a porn star"? If that's not patriarchy, I would like for you to tell me what is.

Drew said...

So I was talking to Emily, which reaffirmed a concern of mine. The way I went about bringing up the point with which I disagreed was inappropriate. My comment didn't really respond to most of the post, which was your personal incident. I think I've done this with other posts too; I bring up the point with which I disagree without validating the points with which I agree (generally being most of the post). So I just wanted to apologize.

Megan said...

So you weren't talking to me? It would be much easier to say who you're talking to. :/

Drew said...

No, I was talking to Emily on AIM about this, and our conversation reaffirmed my concern.

Drew said...

I'm not sure if my response went through or not so just in case:

No, I was talking to Emily on AIM about this post, and it reaffirmed my concern.

Megan said...

You're so confusing. :/

Emily said...

We were in one of the AIM chats with people from TG, and I asked Drew if he commented on your blog, and he said yes. I told him that you and I were talking about him. He read the comments, particularly when I said something like "He'd leave the occasional sexist joke in Womb of Doom, but nothing that would excuse rape." He said, "When did I excuse rape?" I replied, "It was more like making excuses." He was still confused and asked me to elaborate, so I told him that maybe it wasn't the wisest thing to first reply "To be fair (and equal), don't women rape as well?" because the rape of women and the rape of men is not the same thing, since men don't get raped by women because men are being oppressed by women. We live in a victim-blaming culture that entitles men to rape. So although it is a fact that women rape, it isn't the same, and it certainly doesn't make things fair and equal. He didn't mean to belittle the oppression of women or your experience with this George character. When someone vents about a bad experience, they need an ally, not someone who'll bring up a fact that really doesn't change the situation at all.

Drew said...

I can't even apologize right. =(

Drew said...

See, Emily knows how to put it. Must be women's intuition. ;-)