Career Girls Ruin Marriages, Homes, and Lives Apparently!

The original source for this article no longer exists, so I posted it at my other, quieter blog Womb of Doom. I know it hurts, but I suggest you read the whole thing.

The author of this diatribe, Michael Noer, makes many outrageous claims:

Men who marry women with careers "run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage."

"[P]rofessional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children, and, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it."

"[W]omen--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner."

"[T]he more successful she is the more likely she is to grow dissatisfied with you."

"[M]arrying these women is asking for trouble. If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2003). They will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Social Forces, 2006). You will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2001). You will be more likely to fall ill ( American Journal of Sociology). Even your house will be dirtier ( Institute for Social Research)."

"The other reason a career can hurt a marriage will be obvious to anyone who has seen their mate run off with a co-worker: When your spouse works outside the home, chances increase they'll meet someone they like more than you."

"Additionally, individuals who earn more than $30,000 a year are more likely to cheat. And if the cheating leads to divorce, you're really in trouble. Divorce has been positively correlated with higher rates of alcoholism, clinical depression and suicide. Other studies have associated divorce with increased rates of cancer, stroke, and sexually-transmitted disease."

"So why not just stay single? . . . . "[A] good marriage is associated with a higher income, a longer, healthier life and better-adjusted kids."

I was waiting for him to conclude with a statement of men's oppression by these wicked career women. I mean, if he marries a career woman, he totally suffers from various illnesses, incompetent offspring, and a dirty house. Yet if he doesn't get married, he'll contract herpes and commit suicide by mixing anti-depressants and alcohol. Poor men! However, this article provides a solution for these oppressed men: Marry June Cleaver. Done and done!

To the astute feminist reader, this article further proves women's oppression. Women who want to have fulfilling, well-paying jobs sacrifice their happiness because they have to juggle being a woman, being a wife, and being a mother. Oh, did I just repeat myself? Women have to take on both traditional masculine and feminine roles to ensure the well-being of themselves, their children, and their seemingly incompetent yet somehow socially superior husband. The possible solution of allocating domestic duties equally between husband and wife in order to alleviate the stress that comes with being a full-time participant in both the private and public spheres never occurred to Michael Noer or the other penises that control this country, probably because he's too busy worrying about how oppressed he is. On the other hand, women who choose to stay home, or are told to by their paranoid husbands who read Forbes, play the invisible mom role, and are both taken for granted and openly told that their work means nothing because they don't get paid day after day after day.

But hey, at least she'll live to be 100 in her happy, healthy, traditional marriage.