I can only love my body for 9 months at a time.

The only way a woman can be happy with her body.

Sometimes I love talking to fundies. Not because I value anything they say or because I like wingnuttery and crazy ass people who think I should spend my days in the maternity ward, but simply because they pelt you with little gems of godbag wisdom that doubles as a mini-stand-up comedian.

Take this one, for example.

It's hardcore feminists like yourself, that actually hate the female body. Of course, you're so blinded by your cause, to even see the truth. While I am not saying that feminism is bad, (most moderate feminists embrace, and rightful should, the female body.) But you do not want equality, instead, you merely want to free yourself from having any connection to the female sex. Pregnancy is a natural process of the female body - yet instead you see it as a disease. Your hate of your own body drives radical feminists, like yourself, to want a sexless body. But in truth, sexism can be eradicated, while still embracing the two distinct genders, male and female.

Now, before I came out to sit on my computer and vegetate, I was vegetating in front of my television screen watching Todd Manning being given the death penalty for killing Margaret Cochran on One Life To Live. Sitting next to me was a sports bottle filled with lemonade tea. It's message board posts like this that make me so happy that I had the foresight to tell myself not to bring said bottle of tea to the computer with me for drinking while I browsed, lest I ruin my lovely computer screen with the tea-lemonade-saliva liquid combination that was bound to come erupting from my mouth should I have had the misfortune to read this while savoring some of the wonderful refreshment.

But the laughing part would have been good, because it certainly was without the lemonade tea.

It will never cease to amaze me how fundies can equate loving women with forcing them to gestate. I always wonder how they can spout rhetoric about how giving women choices about their body is hating pregnancy, women's bodies, and nature with a straight face. But most of all, I wonder how they can believe it. I mean, it's easy to say it. Sure. I could say lots of things if someone paid me the right amount. But to actually believe that forcing women to gestate is a natural, good, healthy thing is just preposterous and ridiculous. And especially to accuse others who think that women are not simple broodmares of hating pregnancy and women's bodies. Well, it almost makes me feel so bad that I go out and buy them a new box of straws to grasp.

But this quote in particular was hilarious, because it was in reply to a totally different subject. I was talking about the right to bodily autonomy and how women shouldn't have to give it up because no one else has to. Then suddenly, I hate my body, am a man-hating feminazi, and think pregnancy is a disease.

*tsk tsk*