Glenn Beck on Ugly People

I just thought this was too funny not to post. I found this on Media Matters when I looked there to see what action they want me to take in order to get Neil Cavuto fired or suspended for his recent public trans hate speech (none, apparently!) But I did find this about Glenn Beck and ugly people. You'd think Beck would be an expert in ugliness, as he's a horrible person. But he just gets it all wrong. This was his response to these surprising reasons you're not having sex:

BECK: Okay. Surprising reason number one why you're not having sex. "You are Glenn Beck." Wait a sec. That's not surprising at all! Who made up this list? *angry fist*

Okay, I just made that up. But you'll forgive me for that once I tell you what he really said.

BECK: I mean, here are some other reasons. "You're ugly." Hello! I'm not a sex expert but I'm -- you know, I'm thinking, you know, you're ugly and, you know, that's a tough one to overcome especially if you're a woman. If you're a guy, that's not hard to overcome. I'm sorry. That's just the way the world is. Have you -- how many ugly guys have hot wives? Take me, for example. I don't know why she married -- I think it was low self-esteem. I do. No, really I think it was low self-esteem. I got in -- you know, you buy when the market is low. You know what I mean? While everybody else is selling, you buy. And I think I got in there right at the right time. Low self-esteem, low, wait a minute, could go a little lower, she might come down to my price. Hang on, OK, sold! Now her self-esteem is going up. And if my income wasn't going up, she would have ditched me long ago.

At any other time, I would be offended at someone assuming a woman marries for the money. I mean, I don't know why anybody marries anybody. However, experiencing Glenn Beck's nonsense makes me believe he's married for reasons other than love. But I think telling everyone in radio land that his wife must have low self-esteem is more demeaning to her than it is to him. It sort of perpetuates this "marry the loser while you can" bull that's been going around lately, and it's just plain woman-hate. But that's not the worst part. No. Beck gets personal.

BECK: Ugly people, if you're a guy, you can get past it. I don't think you can as an ugly woman. I don't -- no, I don't. If you're an ugly woman, I apologize. Oh, you've got a double cross [I think he meant "whammy" here], because if you're an ugly woman, you're probably a progressive as well. Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. Today's just not your day. But you know what? If you believed in God, you'd know that there's going to be another chance for you. You don't have to be ugly in heaven. You're going to be your perfect self, and there will be another perfect somebody waiting for you on the other side.

Oh, I'm sure I won't get any prettier by doing this -- *VOMITS ALL OVER KEYBOARD* Give me a break. You know your religious beliefs are a sham when you try to recruit women who feel badly about their looks to your side by promising them eternal (patriarchy's oppressive view of) beauty. It might be an effective angle, since 80% of women are dissatisfied with their appearance, but is it morally righteous? How the shit would I know? I'm one of those progressive Godless bitches. Besides, I hear the guys in purgatory are, like, sooo much hotter.

You know what I think this calls for? A Leonard Nimoy vs. Glenn Beck cage match.