Monday, October 23, 2006

And The Creeps Just Keep Popping Up. . .

Once again, the names have been changed to protect, well, the guilty.

I have a lot of allergies. I am allergic to peanuts, feathers, dust mites, cigarette smoke, and cats. Now, my next allergy has never been medically proven, but I still believe I have it.

I am allergic to stupid.

So, anyway, as of right now I'm in desperate need of a Zyrtec or somethin', because I had to deal with a HELLA lot of stupid today. The story goes like this:

It's after lunch and me and my boyfriend are walk into fourth period. We both sit down and this guy who sits next to my boyfriend, we'll call him "Jimmy", starts talking to us. Then he says something about how something SO FUNNY happened to him over the weekend. Then he proceeded to tell us about it.

The OMG HILARIOUS story was that a "dumb bitch" (to quote "Jimmy") that he had broken up with on Wednesday and "fucked" on Friday had given him a blowjob in his car just feet away from the porch that her dad was sitting on. Are you laughing yet?

Immediately I went into feminazi mode.

Basically, I glared at him and called him an asshole. How dare he talk about that girl like that. Then, he tried to justify it by saying "Well she's dumb! No, seriously, if you met this girl you would not like her!". I really was just dumbfounded at this point. How can anyone really be so lacking in responsibility? Anyway, I told him that that didn't matter and that it was wrong to take advantage of her like that. The response I got to that was "What? I didn't take advantage of her! She wanted to do it! It's not like I raped her!". I don't understand how this guy doesn't understand that receiving oral sex from a girl who probably thinks there's going to be some commitment afterward ISN'T taking advantage of her. I also didn't mention rape at all. Hell, seems to me like someone might have a guilty conscience.

My favorite bewildered and desperate response was "What was I supposed to do, say no?". YES. YES you were supposed to say no. You have a responsibility not to take advantage of girls just because you can. Your penis wouldn't have shriveled up if female saliva didn't cover it for one night. HELL yes you were supposed to say no.

I just don't understand how this guy really didn't consider the word "No" to be an option. Not only is it taking advantage of a girl, but it's also feeding into the stereotype that guys become brainless and moral-less once sex comes into the picture. This is a falsehood. Men have the capability to keep their heads (The one on top) once women, their bodies, and sex come into the picture, and they also have a responsibility to do so. "Jimmy" missed every mark in this effort, and it's a damn shame that he really just didn't and continues not to get it. And still, what's more of a shame is he is not alone in this endeavor.


Megan (glovesngum from The-N) said...

Wow. Yeah, this guy's got some serious class. Sounds to me like the blowjob and the fuck was a last ditch effort the girl's part to get back with him, and he fully took advantage of it. What a sleeze.

On another note, I'm allergic to dust mites too. Must be a Megan thing.

Drew said...

I must just be in a good mood right now: Hahahahahaha! Idiot.

Stephen said...

Wow, what a douchebag.

Although I wouldn't really consider this a feminist issue.

Megan said...

What would you call it?

Danie said...

I see why you're upset by this as well. It's just another example of how people, mostly of the male persuasion, use and take advantage of each other. But I don't really think this is a feminist issue either.

I would say this is a moral issue. Men are not the only participants in this game. PEOPLE use people. This is an issue of one person using the feelings and emotions of someone else to get what they want. In this case it was sex. But it can be used for so many things, from financial support to companionship. It becomes a question of morals when one party wants something from one person and is not willing to give what the other person wants in return. Sort of like wanting your cake and eat it too.

Emily said...

The fact that he can relieve himself of any responsibility by just throwing his hands up and let his boner take over his brain makes it a feminist issue. I can't do that. No woman can, because they have to be both the brains and the sex object.

Megan said...

HOWEVER, as Emily was saying: Women are the sex class. If they took advantage of a man like this guy did to his ex-girlfriend, it would be because women are more carnal and seductive, which is one of the reasons why women were subordinated in the first place. This is about more than people using other people. This is a common example of no one but me, as no one else in the class besides on other girl who agreed with me, stepped in and told him he was beyond his bounds. Are you telling me that if a girl did this to a guy, she wouldn't be called a bitch, slut, whore, cunt, etc.? I didn't see anyone saying anything near that to this guy besides me. That is what makes it a feminist issue, is that women are the sex class and double standards like that are still around.

Megan said...

Also, just for the record before this turns into another huge debacle, can anyone tell me if the "Bob" story is a feminist issue, and if so, why, and if not, why not? If you think it is, what makes it different from this issue that makes this issue not a feminist one, but the Bob issue a feminist issue?

Just curious.

Stephen said...

The difference, as Danie said, was that people use people all the time.
I CAN say that when girls do this kind of thing to guys that the treatment is the same because I've seen it happen, and could name names IF I was that kind of person.
He's an asshole for using her, but it would be the same as a guy using another guy, or a girl using a girl, or whatever combination you want to use.

The reason "Bob"'s story was more than simply your run of the mill douchebaggery has to do really more with the culture than anything, I suppose. Men are "supposed" to want to "lose it", and women are "supposed" to hold their chastity as long as possible.
The whole Bob thing seemed to me to be more of a display of his conquest over the girl, he succeeded in his original mission of deflowering a virgin while losing his own virginity. Ugh.

...and he can HARDLY relieve himself of any responsibility, in the right circles, this guy would get his ass kicked by other, more morally conscious, guys.

Megan said...

And as I said, there was little to no opposition in the company I was in. THAT's what bothered me the most. Not only that, but wouldn't you say that Bob just used the girl he slept with as a way to lose his virginity, which once again only fits into the big broad beyond of people using other people?

Emily said...

"In the right circles." Exactly.