I can only love my body for 9 months at a time.

The only way a woman can be happy with her body.

Sometimes I love talking to fundies. Not because I value anything they say or because I like wingnuttery and crazy ass people who think I should spend my days in the maternity ward, but simply because they pelt you with little gems of godbag wisdom that doubles as a mini-stand-up comedian.

Take this one, for example.

It's hardcore feminists like yourself, that actually hate the female body. Of course, you're so blinded by your cause, to even see the truth. While I am not saying that feminism is bad, (most moderate feminists embrace, and rightful should, the female body.) But you do not want equality, instead, you merely want to free yourself from having any connection to the female sex. Pregnancy is a natural process of the female body - yet instead you see it as a disease. Your hate of your own body drives radical feminists, like yourself, to want a sexless body. But in truth, sexism can be eradicated, while still embracing the two distinct genders, male and female.

Now, before I came out to sit on my computer and vegetate, I was vegetating in front of my television screen watching Todd Manning being given the death penalty for killing Margaret Cochran on One Life To Live. Sitting next to me was a sports bottle filled with lemonade tea. It's message board posts like this that make me so happy that I had the foresight to tell myself not to bring said bottle of tea to the computer with me for drinking while I browsed, lest I ruin my lovely computer screen with the tea-lemonade-saliva liquid combination that was bound to come erupting from my mouth should I have had the misfortune to read this while savoring some of the wonderful refreshment.

But the laughing part would have been good, because it certainly was without the lemonade tea.

It will never cease to amaze me how fundies can equate loving women with forcing them to gestate. I always wonder how they can spout rhetoric about how giving women choices about their body is hating pregnancy, women's bodies, and nature with a straight face. But most of all, I wonder how they can believe it. I mean, it's easy to say it. Sure. I could say lots of things if someone paid me the right amount. But to actually believe that forcing women to gestate is a natural, good, healthy thing is just preposterous and ridiculous. And especially to accuse others who think that women are not simple broodmares of hating pregnancy and women's bodies. Well, it almost makes me feel so bad that I go out and buy them a new box of straws to grasp.

But this quote in particular was hilarious, because it was in reply to a totally different subject. I was talking about the right to bodily autonomy and how women shouldn't have to give it up because no one else has to. Then suddenly, I hate my body, am a man-hating feminazi, and think pregnancy is a disease.

*tsk tsk*

Penises glow in the dark? Neat!

By removing the power of men the government has done the equivalent of removing the sun from the solar system.

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!! Uh oh! I put the ultra man quote in pink! I hope it doesn't send womanly-rays-of-penile-death to the author of this ludicrous blog post. Please. I invite you all to read this and laugh your asses off just as I did. Just the thought of testosterone = the sun is enough to make me roflcoptr for hours.

*vomit*

Ladies, I'd just like to let you know that, although you should all think of yourselves as "pre-pregnant", we are NOT trying to turn you into babymakers for the good ol' patriarchy.

That's right. Folks are all about trying to get more health awareness for women, but only because it'll benefits the baybees. They even tell women who are not sexually active or planning on having children anytime soon to make sure they keep healthy for every and any spawn that wriggles it's way into their uterus. I'm sorry, but I have a problem with people advocating for keeping women healthy not because they deserve it, but because they could soon be incubators for something else.

Just more proof that America is controlled by Walmart. We just love those rollbacks! Especially if we're rolling back the personhood of women!

Why Democrats Need A Backbone

Pro-Choice Candidates Discouraged

Powerful Democrats have lined up to support Casey, ignoring his anti-choice positions. Pennsylvania Gov. Edward G. Rendell and Sen. Charles Schumer of New York, head of the political and fundraising arm of the Senate Democratic caucus last year discouraged other potential challengers from running against Casey to avoid a contentious primary contest.

I'm so tired of my reproductive rights being a puck for the politicians to bat back in forth and manipulate in any way that will make them win.

Read the article here.

If this doesn't scare the shit out of you. . .

Nothing will.

Vote to combat the fundies in 2006!

Also, in other les scary news, this was an actual conversation that I had with someone online today.

Them:"Do you realize what you sound like? . . . An A$$-O!!! "
Me: "Ass-O? Is that a new breakfast cereal?"

Pure gold.

Okay Seriously. Somebody's Gotta Be Kidding.

This cannot be for real. I mean, honestly.

I especially like this little gem:

One can argue that a young woman speaking her mind is a sign of equality. "That's a good thing," says Sawyer, father of four daughters. "But for some guys, it has come at a price. It's turned into ED in men you normally wouldn't think would have ED."

So, if I have an opinion, the moment I put it into words I'll hear a fizzling sound and know that, dammit, I've made another penis shrivel into patriarchy-deprived oblivion?

I'll have to warn my boyfriend.

I do have to say, at least they mentioned the fact that drugs, alcohol, not exercising, and stress were all contributing factors as opposed to "Men suffer when women can't keep their legs closed". But still, some of the things in that article make the patriarchy radar bleep rather loudly.

In other news: Click this link if you want to be cool. It's totally free, and it donates tampons and pads to homeless shelters in your state.

Who you gonna call? Prickbusters!

Some guy told me to "Get off his dick" today when I told him he was gross for spitting.

I was tempted to tell him that I unfortunately had forgotten my magnifying glass.