Thursday, November 23, 2006

Wallowing in Dudeslop

Put away your dictionaries, for I have made up this word. Dudeslop, my friends, is my new term. I may or may not use it often, for one cannot tell the future. However, in contemplating my night it was the only description that came to mind.

I'm sure you all know what Hooters is. You may not be familiar with Ker's Winghouse, however. They are basically synonymous. They sell chicken wings, fries, and women's bodies for a living.

Tonight I swallowed up my principles and stepped into one, and all for a Mahi Mahi sandwich for my mother to get indigestion from.

First of all, you have to love the billboards that tower high above the city's roads. Four or five girls in low-cut tank-tops and tiny black shorts gathered around a huge plate of chicken wings with the slogan "Need We Say More?". No, you needn't say more. We get that you sell the opportunity to ogle women while getting plastered and filled to the brim with macho foods. Got that covered.

Now, I may line in Florida, but it's been cold lately. It was about 57 degrees tonight. Not freezing, but not summer either. What do you thik the uniform was? Why, tank tops and tiny shorts, of course! We wouldn't want to sacrifice the ass-crack ogling experience of our patriarchal patrons so that unsightly icicles don't hang off the rumps of our products. They have fifteen minute breaks (if that, I'm being generous here) and hairdryers for that type of miscellaneous bullshit. Besides, they were nice enough to let them cover their legs with some stockings. I'm sure it was a big help when I was walking around saying "Brr" in my jacket and scarf.

And if having freezing women in hardly any clothes wait on you isn't enough to satisfy your dudely cravings for chicken and female human flesh, there's always a nice bikini-ridden calendar to take home! Complete with (probably the nice unsafe) silicone gazongas to wish you could ever take a gander at in real life.

Next were the lovely clothing items for sale. My favorite had to be the one that was warning men not to consume too much alcohol lest a "2 looks like a 10". I wouldn't want any of the hunks that get blasted at Winghouse to be seen with such an unsightly number as the second in the series. Surely every patriarch is at least entitled to an "8" or "9".

So, we all agree that this is pretty objectifying, no?

Sure, they're being ogled, but that's what they chose to do for a living, right? No harm, no foul, why can't they be ogled? That's what they're there for! They chose to do it. If they don't like it, they needn't be there! The dudes have no responsibility not to ogle, and the company has no responsibility not to sell women for a living! They offerred themselves up as a commodity, no?

You're absolutely right if this is what you're thinking. They offerred themselves up to be ogled. However, I want you to think back to some of the jobs you had. Let's say you were a bagger at your local grocery store. You did your job, bagging and occassionally getting carts, when one day it gets to closing time. The janitor was sick that day, so your manager tells you to go clean the toilets. Hey, you signed up for the job, right? You chose to take the position! You knew you'd be at your manager's beck and call. It sucks, but it's your job and you chose it.

The difference is: You are not being OBJECTIFIED in the process. You're simply doing a job, you're not being turned into a COMMODITY to be SOLD.

So please, don't give me that "Men have a right to ogle because those women chose blah blah blah". They may have chosen to work there, but that doesn't give men or companies the right to objectify them. The end. I shall never step into such dudely slop ever again as long as I live.

P.S.- Dude-ly Slop-(n) Phrase used to describe the goo of patriarchy that slips into the cracks of normal every day things such as restaurants, bars, concerts, grocery stores, etc. etc. etc. Basically, icky white rich hetero male privilege nastiness that we feminists often find ourselves being the Waste Management folks of. It has nothing to do with men, though may be confused with basic inherent male behavior. It does, however, have everything to do with patriarchal entitlement.

And their food sucked, too. My salad tasted like pickles.

5 comments:

Emily said...

Look on the bright side. They'll be fired by age 30 and won't have to worry about being objectified anymore! It works just like Reaganomics and is about as effective in helping the oppressed.

Hattie said...

Pretty sad. It sounds like an unpleasant way to earn a living. What a sad commentary on 30+ years of feminism: show lots of flesh to get big tips. Young women now have the freedom to earn the comtempt of useless guys. And it's not as if waitressing were easy work, either. I'll bet a lot of these women have kids and/or are going to school, attempting to better themselves and at the same time being dragged down by their degrading situation. What alternatives are there? Clerking at Wal-mart?
At least sensible people know not to blame the women or to call them "sluts" but understand what a bad position they have been put into.

the winghouse object said...

last time i checked i went to liberal all women highschool. I know my rights as a woman. and i also know that i am not an object. if you let yourself be led around and judged by men and society. yes your an object. if you walk in flaunting your hot ass (no matter what size it is) you are a woman. you CONTROL the situation . what is DEGRADING about saying "hey i'm beautiful. im serving you your food and making roughly at least 15$ an hour) yeah with tips waitresses do good.

if you hate your body and your looking for some sort of validation in men its not the place for you . but if you love yourself. really love yourself you know its not about flaunting its about having fun.

i don't want to go to work and look frumpy in a corporate polo that is 10 times too big for my small chested frame (that's right small boobs at a winghouse!) i want to look sexy and desireable.


my job is FUN, i have a great time, i respect my body and myself, and i demand my customers afford me the same respect i'm a smart woman
and i know i can make bank just being pretty.


so please don't pity us winghouse girls i promise we can take great care of ourselves

the winghouse object said...

ps what kind of feminist doesn't relish her own power over men . free your inner woman

Megan said...

Dear Winghouse Object (I'm glad you could name yourself so accurately):

You are an employee, and you are not in control of the situation. You take orders, remember?

In any case, I don't care if you work at a nudie bar and rub your tits in the face of every man who passes you by. That's your right, and I'm not trying to strip you of it, dearie. However, don't for one second think that you have the control in that situation, because you don't. I don't care how "empowerful" you feel when dudes are high-fiving eachother and snickering about how much they like to watch you walk away. You're still being objectified, so you can like it if you want to, but don't call it something else just because you do.

In reply to your P.S., well, is there a reply? I think the comment basically speaks for itself. You know little to nothing about feminism if you think it's about having power over men, especially if you think that power comes purely from being a good member of the sex class, which you seem to be.

More power to you with the small-boob flaunting and all that. However, please don't tell me that I haven't freed my inner woman because I don't think it's empowerful to have slobbering drunk men calling me sugartits a la Mel Gibson. You have a lovely time at your ultra fun job. :D