Good News!

New Hampshire becomes the first state to provide girls the HPV vaccine for free.

Thank God that Bill Frist won't run for President in 2008. Aw. Hims looks so sad!

Wallowing in Dudeslop

Put away your dictionaries, for I have made up this word. Dudeslop, my friends, is my new term. I may or may not use it often, for one cannot tell the future. However, in contemplating my night it was the only description that came to mind.

I'm sure you all know what Hooters is. You may not be familiar with Ker's Winghouse, however. They are basically synonymous. They sell chicken wings, fries, and women's bodies for a living.

Tonight I swallowed up my principles and stepped into one, and all for a Mahi Mahi sandwich for my mother to get indigestion from.

First of all, you have to love the billboards that tower high above the city's roads. Four or five girls in low-cut tank-tops and tiny black shorts gathered around a huge plate of chicken wings with the slogan "Need We Say More?". No, you needn't say more. We get that you sell the opportunity to ogle women while getting plastered and filled to the brim with macho foods. Got that covered.

Now, I may line in Florida, but it's been cold lately. It was about 57 degrees tonight. Not freezing, but not summer either. What do you thik the uniform was? Why, tank tops and tiny shorts, of course! We wouldn't want to sacrifice the ass-crack ogling experience of our patriarchal patrons so that unsightly icicles don't hang off the rumps of our products. They have fifteen minute breaks (if that, I'm being generous here) and hairdryers for that type of miscellaneous bullshit. Besides, they were nice enough to let them cover their legs with some stockings. I'm sure it was a big help when I was walking around saying "Brr" in my jacket and scarf.

And if having freezing women in hardly any clothes wait on you isn't enough to satisfy your dudely cravings for chicken and female human flesh, there's always a nice bikini-ridden calendar to take home! Complete with (probably the nice unsafe) silicone gazongas to wish you could ever take a gander at in real life.

Next were the lovely clothing items for sale. My favorite had to be the one that was warning men not to consume too much alcohol lest a "2 looks like a 10". I wouldn't want any of the hunks that get blasted at Winghouse to be seen with such an unsightly number as the second in the series. Surely every patriarch is at least entitled to an "8" or "9".

So, we all agree that this is pretty objectifying, no?

Sure, they're being ogled, but that's what they chose to do for a living, right? No harm, no foul, why can't they be ogled? That's what they're there for! They chose to do it. If they don't like it, they needn't be there! The dudes have no responsibility not to ogle, and the company has no responsibility not to sell women for a living! They offerred themselves up as a commodity, no?

You're absolutely right if this is what you're thinking. They offerred themselves up to be ogled. However, I want you to think back to some of the jobs you had. Let's say you were a bagger at your local grocery store. You did your job, bagging and occassionally getting carts, when one day it gets to closing time. The janitor was sick that day, so your manager tells you to go clean the toilets. Hey, you signed up for the job, right? You chose to take the position! You knew you'd be at your manager's beck and call. It sucks, but it's your job and you chose it.

The difference is: You are not being OBJECTIFIED in the process. You're simply doing a job, you're not being turned into a COMMODITY to be SOLD.

So please, don't give me that "Men have a right to ogle because those women chose blah blah blah". They may have chosen to work there, but that doesn't give men or companies the right to objectify them. The end. I shall never step into such dudely slop ever again as long as I live.

P.S.- Dude-ly Slop-(n) Phrase used to describe the goo of patriarchy that slips into the cracks of normal every day things such as restaurants, bars, concerts, grocery stores, etc. etc. etc. Basically, icky white rich hetero male privilege nastiness that we feminists often find ourselves being the Waste Management folks of. It has nothing to do with men, though may be confused with basic inherent male behavior. It does, however, have everything to do with patriarchal entitlement.

And their food sucked, too. My salad tasted like pickles.

More Pro-Life (il)Logic

My favorite Crisis Pregnancy Center chain Care-Net has changed their Morning-After Pill information. I, and hopefully many others, contacted them last summer to tell them that EC, a pill that prevents pregnancy, cannot terminate a pregnancy and that they should remove EC information from their webpage discussing abortion services. I suppose that since Plan B has been granted OTC status, Care-Net has to change their stance, and they came up with a new worry to brainwash vulnerable women with:

"[Y]ou may not even need [Plan B]. You can only get pregnant on certain days of the month – around the time that you ovulate. Typically, there are only about three to five days a month in which a woman can get pregnant. Unfortunately, most women looking for the morning-after pill are panicked because they think (or perceive) the clock is ticking, and as a result they don’t take the time to evaluate their situation. If you weren’t fertile when you had sex because you were nowhere near ovulation, it is senseless to take the drug. It will only subject you to the possible side effects of nausea and vomiting and put a bunch of unnecessary hormones in your body.

Women who are considering Plan B® do not always know where they are in their cycle or if they are fertile, so they rush and spend money on a drug that they don’t need and that may harm their bodies."

But we won't tell you when ovulation happens, or what it might feel like, or the fact that some women can't feel it at all, or that not every woman's cycle is 28 days! The funniest part about all of this is that while telling everyone how ineffective condoms and other forms of contraception are, they basically just gave the more naive of their readers permission to have unprotected sex nearly every time and not worry about pregnancy. So any couple who has unprotected sex outside of any given 3-5 day time span and then gets pregnant can blame it on Care-Net. I guess that means more business for them. And wackos talk about Planned Parenthood turning a profit from abortion!

What horrible side effects, nausea and vomiting! Not to mention the tiredness, menstrual cycle changes, and breast tenderness that Care-Net cites as other potential side effects of Plan B. Hey, Care-Net, what are the symptoms of pregnancy? Missed period, nausea, breast tenderness, tiredness . . . . Care-Net wants every woman to remain pregnant so badly, and since the side effects of Plan B mimic the signs of early pregnancy (and that's the point), they shouldn't be using the same reasoning to discourage use of Emergency Contraception and encourage women to go to term.

Oh, the irony. It must be Thanksgiving.

Afghan Minister Fighting for Women's Rights

Afghan Minister of Women's Affairs (hey, we can use one of those) Hussn Banu Ghazanfar talked a bit about sexism in "post"-Taliban Afghanistan and what needs to be done about it. In a country where only 15% of women are literate, Ghanzanfar is putting a special emphasis on educating women and girls. There are schools for girls and women teachers in Afghanistan, but they are often under the threat of terrorists who have picked up where the Taliban left off. Ghanzanfar also stressed the importance in anti-violence legislation, stating, "The elimination of violence against women does not work if we just conduct seminars and workshops. If we create specific laws to protect women from violence, women will have more confidence." The article ends with an inspiring quote from Ghanzanfar, "It's not important which position I have, but it's more important that I'm working for women - the most needy women of the world."

Help Reject the Appointment of Eric Keroack

Last week, George W. Bush appointed Eric Keroack as the new Deputy Assistant Secretary for Population Affairs, giving him the power to allocate money for family planning and gynocological services. Keroack, however, doesn't support contraception and went as far as to call it "demaning" to women. Only Dubya would choose someone against family planning to control family planning funding! Here's some more dirt on Keroack:

• Keroack promotes abstinence-only education and recommends that contraceptives should only be mentioned to emphasize their failure rates. (Feminist Majority Foundation)
• According to Keroack's presentations, promiscuous women will not be able to form long-lasting relationships because they've used up all of their "bonding" hormone on casual sex. Additionally, Keroack wrote in a 2003 PowerPoint presentation that "PRE-MARITAL SEX is really MODERN GERM WARFARE." (Feminist Majority Foundation)
• Keroack has researched the effects of showing a pregnant woman ultrasound images in order to convince her not to have an abortion. (Feminist Majority Foundation)
• He is a medical director of A Woman's Concern. Part of A Woman's Concern's "faith" statement is to "help women escape the temptation and violence of abortion." Their website also states that "A Woman's Concern is persuaded that the crass commercialization and distribution of birth control is demeaning to women, degrading of human sexuality and adverse to human health and happiness." (National Organization for Women)

Sign this petition demanding U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services Mike Leavitt to reject the appointment of the sexist and irresponsible Eric Keroack.

UPDATE: This article states that Keroack has prescribed birth control in his private practice and that he is not currently a certified OB/GYN. But he still has his license in hypocrisy, which makes him more than qualified to be part of the Bush Administration.

I am shocked, SHOCKED that there is patriarchal bullshit going on in this establishment!

Except not.

Check out this banner for some sort of ad on YouTube:



Aren't you shocked by that image? I mean, where else will you ever see a creepy looking dude grabbing and molesting a naked woman? What? On television, you say? In movies?

Surely not. I am truly shocked by this image. I've never seen something like this in the good ol' patriarchy before, so I'm glad it can be eroticized by these folks.

I mean, hell, I've never seen violence against women being applauded and considered normal behavior before, and it certainly was never on FOX News. Never ever.

*shock and awe*

Gardasil is Being Marketed to the Right Audience

Gardasil is a vaccine that protects against common types of HPV, a virus that often causes cervical cancer. I saw the commercial for it a couple of times, once on MTV and just now on the-N (yes, I was flipping back and forth from Deal or No Deal to South of Nowhere. Don't judge me!). Anyway, I'm glad that the vaccine is being marketed to a younger female audience, since it is approved for girls and women ages 9 to 26. There are some people out there who believe that the HPV vaccine will make girls have unprotected sex, forgetting that Gardasil offers protection against the most common sexually transmitted disease. Thank goodness television networks are putting the health of women before conservative politics.

"THIN" Explores Eating Disorders

HBO will be premiering a documentary about eating disorders called THIN tonight at 9pm EST. Photographer Lauren Greenfield went to The Renfrew Center, an eating disorder treatment center in Florida, to learn more. The THIN homepage has a lot of interesting deleted scenes from the documentary, including an art therapy session. They also have resources for people dealing with eating disorders and a guide on how to recognize eating disorders.

Using Misogyny to Market Music

I know, this is nothing new. But this message I got from the "Brody Ruckus is a Misogynist and his girlfriend should break up with him" group was interesting:

Subject: Ruckus Music Scam
Message: This group is being deleted because the whole Brody Ruckus thing was a scam by Ruckus music to exploit people's misogyny to make money. Please see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruckus_Netw
ork. And please never give any of your business to Ruckus Music.Thank you for being a part, for supporting women, and for helping fight misogyny and patriarchy.

I made a post about this a couple of months ago. Thankfully, the Brody Ruckus group has been deleted. I wish I could say that Ruckus Music's cheap sexist stunt would cost them enough subscribers to bankrupt them, but I'm sure those hundreds of thousands of jerks who joined the group to begin with will be the first to hand over fistfuls of cash to them.

But You Gotta Have Faith. Faith. Faith. . .

. . .in order to forget about a complete lack of female recognition at the CMAs. (Explanation: There's a big hoop-la about her reaction to Carrie Underwood winning Best Female Vocalist, but she was joking. See the video here).

Now, I know it's no big surprise that country music is not exactly on the cutting edge of progressive attitudes or anything. Still, you'd think they could do better
than the little show they put on this past Monday night.

I'm not an avid country fan or anything, but my sister listens to it and I'll occasionally turn on a country station once in a while. It's not nails on a chalkboard to me like it is to some people. However, I'm finding it harder and harder to find any value in it, especially when, apparently, last year, if I was on a lookout for a good album by a female artist, I would be shit out of luck.

Here were the nominees for "Album of the Year":

(Award goes to artist and producer)

Brooks & Dunn

Rascal Flatts

Alan Jackson

Kenny Chesney

Brad Paisley

I think you can all tell me what's wrong with that picture.

It gets better, though! Not only would I be hard pressed to find a good album by penis-lackers, I also wouldn't be able to be entertained by any of them!

Nominees for "Entertainer of the Year" are as follows:

Brooks and Dunn

Kenny Chesney

Brad Paisley

Rascal Flatts

Keith Urban

Not only that, but to top it all off, Carrie Underwood was the ONLY woman to touch an award. There were still plenty of womenz lookin' pretty and sittin' 'round, though, so don't ya'll worry yer pretty lil' heads.

Not a surprise, I know, but it still irked me enough to prompt a post about it.

Shhhh . . . Can You Hear That?

It's the sound of South Dakota governor Mike Rounds crying! Hee hee!

That's right, kids. South Dakotan voters rejected the abortion ban, 56% to 44%. So much for oppressing women for one's own political agenda, huh?

Election Day Info

I got this e-mail from the Feminist Majority Foundation the other day, and it had some information about voting that I never knew.

• If you are in line at the official closing of the polls, you are legally entitled to vote, and the polling location must allow you to vote.
• If your registration is in question or you've forgotten to bring a picture ID, you have the right to request and complete a provisional ballot, which will be verified and counted in the event of a close election.
• If you make a mistake on your ballot before it's submitted, you have the right to receive a replacement ballot.

Imagine if Nancy Pelosi becomes Speaker of the House? Then someone will just have to assassinate Bush and Cheney has to drop dead (he's almost there). It's probably the best shot at having a woman president.

Remember to check out NARAL Pro-Choice America's Pro-Choice Voting Guide before heading out to the polls!

Best Pro-Life Commercial Ever?

VH1 is advertising their Big in '06 Awards show with this commercial featuring a fetus with some attitude. Tomorrow, The National Right to Life will use this ad as evidence that fetuses are indeed as developed as any ghetto fabulous, foul-mouthed, 30-year-old man.

Equality is Soooo Complicated!

The other day I saw this television commercial for Hudson City Savings Bank. A little girl is talking about how both men and women can be doctors or nurses. After her rather long and roundabout explanation, the words "Life is complicated" (or something like that) appear on the screen. How many people are lying awake at night trying to put their minds around the fact that women can be doctors and men can be nurses? Honestly, if a 5-year-old can figure it out, it can't be that confusing.